
Self-Compassion and Embodiment
What is self-compassion, and what does it have to do with embodiment?
The dictionary definition of compassion is "a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering." In the Buddhist tradition, compassion is considered "the heart that can tremble in the face of suffering." Self-compassion then, is our ability to feel for ourselves in our own suffering. The ability to hold ourselves with love in the face of our pain.
So how does self-compassion contribute to embodiment? So many of us feel some level of dislike, or even contempt for our bodies. We have critical thoughts about parts of our bodies, or all of our bodies. Perhaps we don't like how much we weigh, or how tall we are, or that we have some body parts that don't feel right. Perhaps we look at the impossible beauty standards, and compare our bodies to those that are lifted up as the optimal, and feel like we fall impossibly short of that ideal. Those feelings tend to divorce us from really feeling our bodies, from connecting with our bodies, and finding pleasure and joy in our bodies.
Cultivating self-compassion helps us to accept ourselves and our bodies as they are. It helps us connect with our bodies, and hold our bodies with love even in the face of difficult emotions and body sensations. Self-compassion allows us to be experimental - to try things out, to gather the data. It means that when we make mistakes, we don't have to feel like those mistakes have anything to do with our own worthiness, or the worthiness of our bodies.
Sexuality and sex can be vulnerable, sometimes akward, and sometimes can bring up past bad experiences or trauma. Holding ourselves with compassion can allow us to be more fully in our bodies, leading to more access to pleasure and connection.
Would you like to learn about how to cultivate self-compassion, and how self-compassion is a really useful skill in embodiment? Learn more about my self-compassion and embodiment class, starting in July.