Not so long ago, if you considered yourself trans, there was a transition process you were basically had to go through: first therapy, then hormones, then surgery, and somewhere in there legal process of changing names, gender, etc.
Now, it’s more like a menu. You can pick and choose what you might want to do. Some do surgery only, some do just hormones, some do the entire package.
So far, I’ve only chosen one item on the menu: top surgery. I don’t know whether I’ll choose other items on the menu – I don’t know whether I’ll take testosterone yet. I don’t know whether I want to change my legal name and/or gender. I’m just not sure. I’m taking it one step at a time – letting it all sink in, because each menu item has it’s own set of ramifications for my life.
And that feels OK, mostly, but here’s what Maxwell has to say:
I’m impatient. I’ve been in the background for years, and I want to be front and center. I want to learn what kind of man I might become. I want to experience the world from male eyes.
Sometimes, it feels like I have a bit of a split personality. And that’s OK – I’m learning to live with that.